winning

feigned apathy

This is my favorite song of the bunch. I love that it locates the material within a narrative structure instead going straight into exposition. This was both the hardest and the easiest song to write. There are a lot of bits of songs that I couldn’t quite developed tucked away in it. Those bits were time sinks, I had specific ideas I was trying to reference, but I couldn’t develop the ideas.

The comment about losing things “whenever they leave my skin” is a reference to hypostatic union.  “Its easy to love everyone when everyone is asleep” is a “gut” reaction to community in Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling, and the first two lines of the third verse are a rift off of a bit of Barth. Each of those were meant to be a song in and of themselves but just never worked out.

While working on a paper in Christology I came across this passage in Kathryn Tanner’s Christ the Center:

Christ is not the mere condition of or prerequisite for the benefits received through him, a mere means or instrument of our attaining them. The gifts of our own justification and sanctification are, to the contrary, inseparably bound up with their giver […] We therefore must not ask ‘what do I gain from grace?’ as if the latter were some independent quality, but ‘who am I in Christ?’  In him we tend, moreover, only toward him, to what he already is as our own end; we never move beyond Christ’s humanity as the goal for our own reformed lives” – Tanner, 105

After reading that I was able to come up with the chorus. After working on some other material and “noodling” around, I was able to merge my bit o’ Barth with Turner essentially completing the third verse. That inspired me to go back over my notes and try to fit in other pieces. I think lyrically it came out quite nice.

Cllick on the link to download the song: winning

winning

Fall asleep at the foot of the door, waiting for you to let me in

I lost my keys again, but I promise I’ll keep looking

I swear it happens every other day, whenever things leave my skin

Everything falls apart whenever I’m not looking

And I thought this love meant that I am winning

I thought this love meant I could win

I thought this love meant things would go my way

I thought I this love meant I could win

Midnight coffee at the convenience store so I don’t fall asleep

These late nights will be the death of me but at least I can work in peace

It’s easy when there is no one around, just the sound of my own feet

It’s easy to love everyone, when everyone is asleep

And I thought this love meant that I am winning

I thought this love meant I could win

I thought this love meant things would go my way

I thought I this love meant I could win

You choose not be yourself, if you cannot be with me

And it seems that I am nothing, whenever I am not with you

I thought it meant I would get something- like prize out of a cereal box

You say you are the prize and everything that I am not

And I thought this love meant that I am winning

I thought this love meant I could win

I thought this love meant things would go my way

I thought I this love meant I could win

 

 

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